The Wines That Shaped My Life
BY NEAL MARTIN |
When Vinous subscriber Anthony Kim proposed a charity dinner at 67 Pall Mall, in aid of The Amos Bursary, I suggested a theme around bottles that had a significant impact on my life, or a story behind them. All of us have them. These are some of mine.
Blue Nun
I would not go as far to say that wine was persona non grata in the Martin family household. Let’s just say, its invitation got lost in the post. Once in a blue moon, a bottle vaguely resembling vino accompanied, or more accurately insulted, the Sunday roast. The family’s hypothetical wine list extended to three wines and rest assured, none of them were 1945 Petrus. No, they were Black Tower, Rosé Mateus or, if pushing the boat out, Blue Nun.
Bet you did not expect to see those two words on Vinous.
Blue Nun was the one of the leading supermarket brands in the seventies and eighties. As an aside, I never knew that a) it was launched way back in 1923 b) that bottles of Blue Nun are tinkled in the background of Long, Long, Long by The Beatles c) namechecked by The Beastie Boys. However, I did know it was daytime TV presenter, Alan Partridge’s (a parody of British television personality of the times) wine of choice. I mean, you couldn’t imagine him getting into orange wine, could you?
I actually met her… The Blue Nun. Really. It was my maiden Vinexpo in 1997, and as I jabbered with Japanese colleagues, from the corner of my eye I spotted a young lady dressed in a vivid blue habit, though with perhaps too much red lipstick and rouge to pass as a real nun. She was either preaching or pulling. Difficult to tell which. I nudged my friend. “Look! It’s the blue nun!” He was nonplussed. Obviously, Blue Nun had not taken off in Japan like it had across Britain. I wanted to ask her how she balanced life, serving the Lord and quenching the thirst of wine-lovers who like their sugar with a hint of wine, but a strange fear gripped me and I just couldn’t ask. I let her weave her way through the exhibition stands leaving a whiff of süssreserve in her wake.
I must admit that in my 25-year career, I never expected to be driving to Tesco to buy a bottle of Blue Nun. I feared being spotted by the wine paparazzi and plastered over the tabloids whose headlines would read: “WINE CRITIC’S SECRET AFFAIR WITH BLUE NUN!!!”. Sporting aviator shades and a balaclava, I searched the aisles and found a bottle, sadly, no longer with a label depicting a blue nun. At least the bottle was blue. My wife caught me brandishing the bottle upon returning home and was about to fetch the straight-jacket from the airing cupboard when I explained that it was for a charity dinner. “Darling,” she said. “The lengths you go for charity. Don’t endanger yourself.”
My note should explain my objective opinion. Hey, it might be damning it with faint praise but at least it was preferable to the 1982 Montrose. And if Blue Nun’s PR department just read that, please read on before using it for your next marketing campaign.
It all began here. Remarkably, when I returned last July, the man at the counter had heard of the story about a wine writer whose career began at the Turnpike. After 25-years!
1982 Montrose
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A charity dinner themed around the significant wines of my career threw up a couple of surprises. I doubt DRC and Blue Nun have ever found themselves reviewed in the same article. In these days of bleak headlines, the vignettes accompanying these eclectic wines hopefully put a smile on your face.
